If being a Virgo is wrong, I am desperate to be right
#011: Crushes end and group chats rule
I’d consider myself an astrology-lite believer. I don’t think it’s totally off base (because every Pisces I know does in fact cry / look like they could cry all the time), but I also don’t live according to the stars (unless of course they could help me date an actual star). There’s something slightly off about the astrologists and tarot card readers landing on my TikTok feed saying “this video was meant to find you” one minute and then “take what you like and leave the rest” the next, because, well, that’s insane.
But! I do find a lot of fun and whimsy in the evaluation and skepticism and that’s-such-a-Virgo-thing-to-say of it all, which is how I found myself on the Co—Star app years ago. This is one of those astrology sites that requires the exact time and place you were born, so as a Virgo I decided this made it more reasonable because it was data-backed (yes, I know, that’s-such-a-Virgo-thing-to-say).
My friends and I love this app — particularly when it tells us to do unhinged things we were already on the brink of or validates our feelings following a very big crash out — and as a Virgo Sun/Pisces Moon/Sagittarius Rising, I think everyone should download it for the truth/sadness/chaos it brings. Daily recommendations with dos and donts? Potential friction points with friends? Compatibility with love interests? Unfiltered advice, sometimes so mean that you throw your phone across the room? Co—Star is like a sick combination of your mom giving you harsh truths and your best friend supporting you with delusional encouragement. I adore it.
Now, on its face, making decisions just so I have something to write about is an insane piece of advice! However, paired with my own discernment and some nudgey bravery, this is actually a really nice reminder to do things outside my immediate “yes!” window and do some stuff and take some risks. I’m a writer, after all, and so I have no choice but to write what I know (aka what I live).
For you zodiac-avoidant folks, according to Co—Star: your sun is your role in life and self core, your moon reflects your emotions and who you are when alone, and your rising is the mask you present and how you first come off to people. So for some fun this week, I reflected on my Big 3 a bit more unconventionally.
🍸 Sex and the City: Miranda Sun, Charlotte Moon, Samantha Rising
✨ Taylor Swift Albums: Folklore Sun, Speak Now Moon, 1989 Rising
💊 Severance: Harmony Cobel Sun, Irving B. Moon, Helly R. Rising
🔥 YA Series: Harry Potter Sun, Twilight Moon, Hunger Games Rising
🚑 Grey’s Anatomy: Miranda Bailey Sun, Lexie Grey Moon, Christina Yang Rising
📱 Social Media: Instagram Sun, Twitter Moon, Substack Rising
💗 Norah Ephron Classics: You’ve Got Mail Sun, Sleepless In Seattle Moon, When Harry Met Sally Rising
☕️ Gilmore Girls: Emily Sun, Jess Moon, Lorelei Rising
💁🏼♂️ The Chrises: Hemsworth Sun, Pine Moon, Evans Rising
I’d love to read your self-diagnosed astrological associations in my comments! After all, you can learn a lot about someone based on how they see themselves vs. how you correctly see them (yes, I know, that’s-such-a-Virgo-thing-to-say). 💌
🎉 cheer: (verb) to utter a shout of applause; (noun) light of mind and feeling
The Group Chat: While I do love the way this has risen in the cultural lexicon in recent years (
’s Substack and this hilarious TikTok series both top of mind) this is really about the actual text-driven group chat that you and your friends have been building brick by brick for who knows how long. A bunch of mine were really active this week and covered all kinds of topics: planning a girls trip, congratulating promotions, coordinating dinner plans, snapping ugly selfies in nice outfits, debriefing on fleeting romances, gossiping about work drama, sharing screenshots (and screenshots and screenshots and screenshots). This is the stuff of girlhood and I love when I get to see it flourish!!! There are rumors of men having group chats but they seem, um, not fun and essentially useless (bummer!) from what I hear. This week I saw this story on The Cut about a woman whose group chat is ruining her life and I was incredibly glad I couldn’t relate. Tend to your group chats, they’re the only thing keeping some of us going.Note: Ironically enough, after this post was written & scheduled, Co—Star posted this incredibly timely Instagram. What fun overlap!
The Pitt on HBO/Max: I’m not sure why this one took me so long to get to, but I finally started on Friday and promptly finished my shift by Saturday afternoon. I’ve always been a dedicated medical drama watcher, but as a Shondaland loyalist it’s been hard for me to get excited about the new ones (Dick Wolf is fab but Chicago Med is not it, and I cannot believe bee-nado drama 9-1-1 is still on the air). The Pitt is fun and sad and gruesome, the cast is incredible, and as an old E.R. fan it’s dreamy to have Noah Wyle back on a weekly screen saving lives and showing compassion.
The End of a crush: I know, I know, I am the one who wrote just weeks ago about how crushes literally make the world go round! And I stand by that — crushes are the lifeblood of fun and romance and fantasy and delusion (aka vital things that make us human and allow us to persist alongside the horrors of life). But… if having a crush is that first perfect sip of a cocktail on a Saturday night, then getting over a crush is the first full meal you eat on Sunday after a full-day hungover. What bliss to be out of the haze, back to your regularly scheduled unbearable self! What a relief to have the spell broken, back to your barely functional baseline! Who were you then? How unrealistic were those fantasies? What were you even saying? How much dissecting did you do? Do your friends hate you for not shutting up? How (much more) frequently were you shaving? Were you being yourself or were you acting out a fantasy version of what you thought they wanted? Who cares, those are questions for a post-mortem you can conduct
some other timenever!!!! The internet has long said that “a crush is simply a lack of information” and I’m not saying that should be turned into some kind of religious scripture, but it is the closest thing to a Hail Mary I have (as a non-Catholic). May we all find and shed more crushes this year, each complete with suffocating thrills and waves of relief.
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🗑 jeer: (verb) to speak or cry out with derision, mockery, or insulting remarks
Lessons In Chemistry (Apple TV): As you may recall, I really loved reading this book last month — it made me feel sad and grounded and seen, and I cannot say enough good things about it. But then I went to watch the mini series they adapted and was wildly disappointed. Before I even finished the book, a 60 year old woman on a plane warned me that I might not like the on-screen version (“My book club watched the series and were really disappointed the dog didn’t talk.”) and, unfortunately, she was right (though I disagree about the dog disappointment). Why stray from how the book goes? Why waste Apple TV money on something so beautiful but so boring? I stopped 20 minutes in so maybe it got better, but I’ll simply never know.
Blue Origin’s first female flight: First, let’s ignore the fact that I think space exploration is incredibly stupid and pointless and a colossal waste of money. Second, let’s establish the fact that I believe women should be at the forefront of any and all groundbreaking missions and research, mostly because we are smarter and better than men but also because we have been forced out or not admitted, historically. Got it? Okay, good. Because it’s *not* the mission, it’s some factors, ok! The vibe of this headline is dripping so heavily with “women be shopping!!!!” energy that it actually pained me to read. We are sending six women to space (for the first time ever) and we went with a headline about … *checks notes* … lipstick? Hey, is this a sick joke or just the state of reporting? Please don’t answer. Oh and, also, why, for the love of god, are we risking Gayle on this star-studded trip!!! She is a prized icon of this world, she is a top tier journalist, she is Oprah’s bff??? I can’t believe we are willing to send her off into the abyss, someone should petition to stop this!!! Were there NO other journalists we could send? I mean look, the last thing I want to do is be on the same side of history as Olivia Munn but I simply must complain about parts of this mission.
👀 mere: (adjective) being nothing more than
Haven’t stopped crying laughing at this guy’s creepy “middle aged baby daddy from work“ character on TikTok for a week
This just seems like it should technically be allowed, tbh!
🍅 This week’s tomato item is a new hair clip I’m obsessed with — a congratulatory gift from a friend of mine (how lucky am I!)
📚 The book I can’t stop thinking about: You Didn’t Hear This From Me: Notes on the Art of Gossip by Kelsey McKinney — it’s a spawn of McKinney’s podcast Normal Gossip and looks at the good and bad impact and power of gossip. Two different Substacks that I love (
and ) interviewed the author a few weeks ago and, as a gossip lover myself, I cannot wait to read it!!Oh, hey, look, it’s me
THIS IS ROMANCE TAKE NOTES
Sweet, reeeeeeally normal and fun and cool stuff
✨ A room I’d like to live in: my kitchen nook dreams continue, this time complete with a stunning chandelier
Morgan Wallen behaving like a child on SNL was stupid, but the internet responded accordingly (as always) and made it gold — here are some faves:
That’s all this week! Leaving you with a photo of an iced latte that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about for three weeks. Perhaps by dropping it here I’ll finally be able to shake the idea of it (or I’ll just go get one, idk) — bye <3
Idk about your first jeer this week but feel what you feel. Also have been on the creepy babydaddy and hate how much I find myself loving his videos!!